Who is in charge of your decisions? Is it your limiting beliefs, or your supporting beliefs?
Let’s find out together.
Neurologist, Dr. David Eagleman, explains that 95% of our brain activity is beyond our conscious awareness. He, among numerous other cognitive neuroscientists have conducted studies that have revealed that only 5% of our decisions, emotions, actions, behaviour is conscious, whereas the remaining 95% is generated in a non-conscious manner.
For example, logically, in our conscious awareness, we know that our limiting beliefs are not true and that we are safe to be, do and have what we desire. However, if 95% of our mind has been programmed to believe that nothing else could be true except that belief, no wonder it feels impossible to be, do and have what we desire.
Limiting beliefs show up everywhere. Not because we are weak, but because our mind goes everywhere we go. A belief is formed from our repetitive thoughts, combined with our emotional reactions, which becomes our decision maker. The decision can be the reaction, action, non action, behaviour, or even the way you speak and the words you use.
THOUGHT + FEELING + DECISION
If only 5% of our decisions, emotions, actions, and behaviours are conscious, what is programmed subconsciously and is it working for us, or against us?
I gave this example the other day with regards to posting something online that will help to simplify this.
Let’s say you are going to post a video online, or perhaps even a view point or perspective you have and doubt shows up.
Let’s start with the thought.
You just shared something online and your mind is now going wild. What if I insult someone? What if no one likes it? What if I wasn’t articulate enough? What if I’m judged? Maybe I should go and delete it.”
In comes the emotions.
You are thinking about going to delete it because you are now starting to experience the feeling of these thoughts and in comes the emotional reaction. Perhaps you are feeling fear, or anxiousness, or even the dread of what might happen. Or, you might even feel the emotional response in your body. This is when we go into a lot of what ifs. Your subconscious mind now does a scan to see how you normally react, behave, or make decisions based on this emotional response.
Now it is decision time.
Do you post it, do you delete it, or do you trust that it is okay, you are safe? This next stage is the most important because it is going to be what programs your mind to work for you, or against you. The way to get out of this spiral is to make the decision from the place of how you want to feel, not the fear.
But this requires something really important….TRUST.
Building up those trust muscles means that you have to put it out there, even with the fear tagging along, so that you can show yourself (your mind) that you are actually safe. Your mind will always want to keep you safe, but sometimes we have to remind it that we are not in any danger.
The decision that you can make is to share what you wanted to share, put it out there and walk away. Don’t keep looking for the likes or comments, and remind yourself that it came from your heart, you felt guided to share it, and you are safe. You are making sure that a part of that 95% subconscious programming is supportive.
Eventually, your mind will realize that even when the doubt creeps in, you are actually safe and it is okay for you to do the thing you want to do.
I wanted to share this today because I always get asked, “how can I stop thinking?” You can’t. Your mind isn’t separate from you. You can’t just take it out and put it in a drawer to use later. It goes where you go. But you can make it work you. You have that power. You are the thinker of your thoughts, you are not your thoughts.
So here is your practice.
Start to pay attention to where your thoughts + emotions are informing your decisions.
When the thoughts and emotions creep in, and they don’t feel good, pause, take a few deep breaths to calm your nervous system, and ask yourself this: “if I felt the opposite of this, say I felt confident and safe, how would my decision change?”
Make the decision, action, or behaviour from that place (step 2) and continue to do it until it takes up permanent residence in the 95% of your unconscious mind. It will eventually become a program and your condition and habitual response will change overtime.
Our mind is so complex and this is just one practice, so don’t worry if it takes some time. This isn’t something that happens over night. Because again, your mind goes everywhere you go, which means that so do your limiting beliefs.
Your beliefs, limiting or supportive, were once just gentle thoughts. Each thought starts as a tiny seed. If you think it once, it won’t grow. If you think it over and over and over again, imagine that it is like watering a seed and overtime that seeds grows into a belief system. You are no longer just thinking it, you believe that nothing else could be true and now you start to make your decisions, responses, reactions, actions, and behaviours from that belief.
So the questions become: What are you watering? What are you growing? Are the decisions, responses, reactions, actions and behaviours supportive and expansive, or limiting and constricting?
Take some time to explore this in your journal and use the steps above to support you in strengthening your mental and emotional muscles.
If you want another practice, keep reading.
DECISION MAKING CHECKLIST
Imagine that you are standing in front of a decision fork and you can’t decide which way to go.
Think of a decision you have to make. In your journal, write out the entire story. All the challenges, all the obstacles you think there are, the fears, even what other people are saying you should do.
Inside of that story, there are going to be places that land you at a decision fork. I want you to look at the decision fork ahead of you. Consider both possible options, just start with two, unless you feel more comfortable, add as many as you want, and write out what both of them are: What lies ahead of you if you decide to go left? And what lies ahead if you decide to go right? Write it all out in so much detail that you can feel it.
Next, when you have some time to yourself, I want you to visualize yourself in each decision. How does each option feel to you? Does it feel like a true YES or a NO? Does it feel constrictive or expansive? Does it feel like you are making the decision out of fear, or is it truly something that you feel is correct for you? Are you making the decision based on someone else’s opinion and you think you should want it, but don’t really?
Visualizing yourself in the decision helps you see the choices you might have to face.
Visualize the outcome, how you feel, what you want, who is there with you.
See yourself actually living in it.
Seeing yourself in a positive situation will help inspire you, and often removes the fear by motivating you to move forward and take action.
It also helps do something really important: Trust your inner guidance system. Which is something I help you do in my digital workshop Strengthening Your Inner Guidance System. I loved creating this workshop. You have an amazing decision making tool and it isn’t found outside of you.