WOMEN AND GUILT GO TOGETHER LIKE PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM, BUT WITHOUT THE GOOD TASTE.
I was asked once if there was one emotion I would give up what would it be. That is so easy…GUILT. Guilt can be a major barrier in being positive and living a happy life. It can make you feel stuck because you become paralyzed by not doing/saying what you think you should be doing/saying. Sound familiar? It does to me because I’m a recovering guilt-a-holic.
Women & Guilt
Women & guilt go together like peanut butter and jam, but without the good taste. There is no doubting this fact, women feel guilty. I know this because every woman I speak to suffers from some form of guilt. Guilt over working too much, working too little, what they say, what they don’t say, what they do, what they don’t do, not doing enough, doing too much, what they eat, what they don’t eat. The list goes on! I even felt guilty about writing this blog. What if I say something that offends someone? GUILT. What if I spend too much time on the blog and not enough time on something for my clients? GUILT. Guilt has one purpose in life and that is to make you feel like SHIT. It’s craziness and it has to stop.
One way of transforming guilt is to learn the power that two little words have…YES & NO.
Learning to Say No, So You Can Say Yes
For me, it started with learning what to say yes to and learning what to say no to. Unapologetically. To minimize feelings of guilt, you need to practice using these two words. Yes Please and No Thank You. That means working through the guilt. The tricky thing is that guilt comes in the yes and it comes in the no.
Transforming Guilt In The Yes
Yes, I want to do that because it will light up my soul and feel amazing! But I feel guilty because it means time away from kids, partner, family, friends, work, walking the dog, brushing the cat, cleaning the house, cooking dinner, Etc. Don’t you see how that is dimming the light of your soul? Should you really feel guilty for wanting time to do something soul igniting just for you? Of course not! Now, I want you to say this with me. “Yes please.”
Transforming Guilt In The No
My new favorite word is NO. But because I will always have that tinge of guilt, and I’m a nice Canadian good-girl, I say, “no thank you.” Just like saying yes, saying no comes with guilt as well. No, I can’t take on another project. No, I can’t go for dinner. No, I can’t plan that party for you. But I feel guilty that I can’t do it all. Saying no creates space and time in your life to say yes to things that light up your soul. You should never feel guilty about that. Now, I want you to say this with me. “No thank you.”
The point is, do what lights up your soul. Trust your gut. Trust your inner GPS, your soul desires and follow your heart. Guilt is never going to go away. It is embedded in our DNA, but we can minimize it by saying yes and doing things that makes us happy. Happiness is contagious, so you are doing everyone around you an amazing service by being happy yourself.
Now get out there and start practicing saying no, so you can say yes to life!
Laurie-ann Sheldrick, The Contagiously Positive Girl