How often do you doubt what you are charging for something, or earning a salary for? How often do you not stand in your own power and say, “this is what I’m worth”? Or even ask for what you want?
In 2018, I set the intention that I was going to stand in my own power and value my worth. Before becoming an entrepreneur, when I was working for a company, I felt like I wasn’t making enough, knew I wasn’t making as much as the men in the same exact position, with the same experience (sometimes less), and I was terrified to ask for more. This didn’t end when I started my business. I felt so uncomfortable setting my rates and submitting proposals. I knew I had to get over this because it created a scarcity mindset. During this almost 2-year journey, I am proud to say, I have healed my scarcity mindset, value my worth and love talking about money.
Scarcity around money is where I want to begin this big topic conversation. It has come up with my clients this week, and it was a big discussion topic at one of my networking events.
What I have learned in the past couple years, which has really been difficult to wrap my head around, is that money is energy. So what does this mean? Albert Einstein proved that everything is energy. His very famous quote, one that I truly resonate with is: “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics”.
I think most of us understand and know this, but when our mind starts to worry about whether or not we will have enough, or the bills begin to all come in at once, while our car also breaks down, a scarcity mindset begins to creep in.
“Will I have enough?”
“What if I don’t have enough?”
“How come I never have enough?”
“Why does everything have to come at once?”
“I know I am worth more than I am making, but I’m so afraid to ask.”
Even people who make a lot of money have a scarcity mindset because they fear losing it.
This is a massive, energetically fuelled topic, so for the scarify mindset, I suggest two things to start.
1. What is the subconscious belief under the feeling of scarcity?
Once we know our subconscious (and conscious) limiting beliefs, it makes it easier to flip the script and recognize that it’s just a habitual thought; it is not truth or fact. When we trust this, we know that there is solution. It’s like training your brain to react differently to habitual thought patterns, or experiences. Basically it’s unlearning what we have been taught or told since we were kids, especially if you always heard your parents argue about money or constantly say that there is never enough, and money doesn’t grow on trees.
Ask yourself these questions:
What are my limiting beliefs around money? List them all out.
Next, ask yourself, are these limiting beliefs mine, or did they come from my parents? We tend to model our parents ideas and beliefs, so this will help you determine where you are habitually just reacting the way your parents did. Once you know what your limiting beliefs are, and where they come from, understanding it programming, you can begin to turn them around (reprogram).
What are your conversations around money like? Are they positive or negative? If they are negative, begin to practice not complaining about money and instead being in proactive mode, not reactive mode. If you are in a financial struggle right now, have a positive conversation about it. What can we do about this? Who can help us with this? Let’s make sure this never happens again and ensure that we always have enough. What is right in front of me right now that I can deal with?
This changes the energy behind the limiting belief because you are taking control. Your brain doesn’t have to fight or flight for you (which usually ends up in anxiety and worry) because you are taking control. Putting yourself in the financial drivers seat is the best way to overcome the scarcity mindset. It increases your confidence and self-worth. And it is definitely an amazing way to enhance your energy in a positive way.
2. Interrupt the thought process. In UNLEASH I share tools that help our negative thoughts from not gaining momentum. A limiting belief is a thought we repeat over and over again until we believe that nothing else can be true but that thought.
With regards to money, something that I practice is interrupting the thought, especially when bills come in all at once and it seems like when it rains it pours. I will say to myself, “All is well. Whatever I need will come. I am safe.” I repeat this over and over while taking deep healing breaths and visualizing my financial needs being met and how abundant that feels. Once I feel like my nervous system is out of worry, I can stop and go about my day. You may have to do this multiple times a day while you unlearn the old patterns of thinking.
Oddly, for me, the fear creeps in when I am doing well. I start to think, “How can I maintain this? What if the well dries up?” I think many entrepreneurs will resonate with that.
Money is energy, just like everything else. It seems to be the one universal law we struggle to embrace and it makes total sense. Money is fuelled! The law of gravity, we get this – what goes up, must come down. Money being energy – we think, nope, there has to be more to my money worries and fears than just energy. Many of us, myself included, have been programmed to have negative energy around money. Whether it be from our parents, or from ourselves, or if you are a woman, societal programming that we are not as worthy.
When I started to take control of not just my thoughts about money, but also my entire financial planning, everything shifted for me. I realized, it wasn’t really about money; it was my thoughts and beliefs about money. And they weren’t good! Now, I have positive conversations about money. I know my financial numbers, I know my husbands numbers, I charge what I know I am worth, without the guilt, and I don’t shy away from talking about how much I love money. This is a major blocker as well, especially for women. It is so important for us to talk about money! It isn’t dirty.
Simply interrupting the worried thoughts starts a mindset shift that we can make to change our energy, which is really our emotions, towards money. The breathing and affirmations work for me because it interrupts my thoughts, changes my emotional state, and in turn changes my energy.
You can also challenge the negative thoughts by questioning yourself.
Am I falling into a negative thinking trap?
Am I 100% sure that I will not have enough?
Is this a temporary inconvenience or real issue that needs some planning with a professional?
Is this a fact or is it my limiting beliefs coming up?
Is my worry and anxiety over this actually going to help or is there another more positive way I can handle this?
Now I understand that this topic is a biggie! It has only been a year since I have come to terms with money and trusting that I have always and will always have enough – be safe. I still have triggers that come up. I’m human. For me it is about safety. When my mind goes into scarcity, I start to feel unsafe and this bubbles up my anxiety and worry. Which is why I interrupt my thought process because I can’t solve anything from this negative mindset when my brain is in fight or flight mode, trying to keep me safe. Which is your brains purpose by the way. That is why you can’t trust everything that you think.
Again, I know that these practices sound too simple to work, but just try them out. The whole purpose of these exercises is to shift your energy towards ease, trust, calmness, and bringing your nervous system back to a balanced state. Once you are in that energetic zone, you can solve anything that comes your way.
Here is a little bonus exercise; some questions to get your money conversation flowing. What is your financial vision?
How do you want to feel about your finances and money? Start with the emotion and begin to break down what you want. What does financial abundance feel like to you? It is going to be different for everyone. Financial abundance isn’t just our annual income. It goes deeper than that. Once you have the feeling, break it down.
What is your annual income?
What does your cash flow look like?
How much do you have in your savings account?
Do you have investments?
How much money would you like to retire with?
Now, if you want to work with a financial planner, or just plan it yourself, you have a baseline on where to begin and start to take the what and begin to plan for the how.
Laurie-ann Sheldrick, The Contagiously Positive Girl