“NOT ALL THOSE WHO WANDER ARE LOST.”J.R.R. Tolkien
When I first started to explore this idea about being in an exploration phase, I shared it with my contagiously positive community. I started writing and allowed my thoughts, current experience, and inspiration to guide me.
I love sharing from this place because there is so much magic when we share from our heart. Whatever you are experiencing right now, if you are in a phase of exploration where you feel lost, or have more questions than answers, I hope this supports you.
Like many us, the past 2 years, while living in a global pandemic, I’ve been thinking so much about my life and business and what I truly want for both. I’ve been exploring my terms of success, what I value, what I desire, my goals, who I am, who I want to be, my beliefs, and I have to say, they have changed so much since the start of the pandemic. I feel like I have changed so much. I suppose that is so incredibly normal when we live through what we have been navigating for almost two years now.
I was listening to a Brene Brown podcast and she said that it is normal for women in their forties to question their life because it is when their midlife begins. I suppose inching towards 43, I’m in my midlife. Not a midlife crisis, but a deep exploration of what I truly desire for my life moving forward. I know that I’m not alone in this exploration, or this questioning of ones next phase because I’ve been speaking to so many of my friends who are feeling the same way.
What do we do when we are in this exploration phase brought on by midlife?
What do we do when we are questioning what we truly want?
What do we do when our goals no longer feel aligned with who we are today?
What happens when our desires and values change, or when we change, but the world around us seems to want us to stay the same?
I am looking out my window right now, and the leaves are changing. Fall is here and mother nature is preparing for winter. If change happens so naturally in nature, where we never even question it, shouldn’t it be the same for us?
These are questions I’ve been asking myself and I’m sure some of you have been asking yourselves as well. Perhaps you haven’t even been able to explain the way you are feeling and now these questions have ignited something in you.
I don’t have all the answers. I’m learning, changing and growing just like you. But I made a promise to myself that I would always share what I’m learning so that no one ever feels alone on their journey.
I think we need to give ourselves a break at having to have it all figured out. We give ourselves time to explore and try on new things. We take time to connect with ourselves without any pressure of having this specific outcome at this specific time and in this specific way. Which always ends up being so frustrating when it doesn’t happen the way we tried to control it to happen. We go within more and we stop worrying about what everyone thinks and we listen to our own inner voice.
What I have been doing, and would love for you to join me if this is resonating with you, is to simply just be in an exploration phase.
If you are questioning what you truly want, sit with that. Take time on solo walks and in your journal to discover it. Before you walk, or write, ask yourself: What do I want? Not what I think I should want, but truly want? And as you write down the first thoughts that come up, don’t judge, don’t question them, just look at them – explore them.
If you have goals that no longer feel aligned with who you are, or what you want today, it is okay to let them go. Make space for new goals. Or, maybe you don’t even set a new goal right now. How does that feel?
Each day, simply ask yourself: Who do I want to be today? And be her. Forget about whether or not the external world matches up with you, just be YOU. Free yourself from the mental and emotional exhaustion of trying to be how everyone else wants you to be.
I’ll end with this…
What if we are not meant to have it all figured out, have our entire future laid out for us, and the exploration phase (this midlife) is exactly where we are meant to be right now? Which means, you were never lost, you were simply just exploring.