“It isn’t what you do once in a while that makes a difference, it is what you do consistently.”
I’m not healthy because I moved my body once and ate one healthy meal. If I want to keep my physical body strong, I have to consistently eat healthy and consistently move my body. If I just stopped doing this, I would become unhealthy.
Well, that same principle applies to our emotional and spiritual bodies. If you stop working the work of feeling the way you want to feel, they weaken and become unhealthy. You feel spiritually fatigued (like something is missing in life) and your negative emotions take over, wanting to move you permanently into negative-ville. You are going to have days where you drive through it, but what we want to avoid is taking up permanent residence there.
Two things that keep us from committing to our goals, daily habits and aligned action, are fear, and limiting beliefs. These zap our energy and confidence like a quick snap of a thin twig. They are also what makes us detour into negative-ville.
Let’s start with fear.
This is a big topic, so I’ll just focus on the fear failing. Failure is going to happen. It isn’t a matter of if you fail, it is when. Are you actually afraid of failing or are you afraid of being judged? Really think about your answer. I ask this because more people are afraid of public speaking than they are of dying. Why? They would literally rather die than get up on stage to speak. Not because they don’t want to fail, but because they don’t want to be judged by their peers. We are afraid of being seen for who we truly are. We are afraid of being judged for being imperfect. We are even afraid of being judged for being successful and happy.
The way around this is you have to do it scared and keep saying to yourself, “what people think of me is none of my business.” Listen, anyone who has ever done that scary thing, like public speaking, will never judge you. Why? Because they know how freaking scary it is! So those who are judging you, have probably never taken the risk you are taking. Those who are judging you, probably have some insecurities and their own limiting beliefs that need healing.
Again, this is a massive uncomfortable topic, so I’m just going to leave you with that one little tidbit for today.
The next thing that holds us back are our limiting beliefs.
“I can’t do it, it will be too hard, I don’t have the skills, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough.”
You have two choices here. You can either believe it, or not. A limiting belief is a thought repeated over and over again, until that thought becomes your one and only reality, and you believe that nothing else can be true.
For the limiting beliefs that are front and centre, challenge them. They are not true unless you make them true. When my limiting belief of ‘I’m not good enough’ creeps in, I change the story. “I am good enough. I am enough. I have always been enough. I will always be enough. There is nothing that I cannot be, do and have.”
If beliefs are just repeated thoughts, change the repeated thoughts. Reprogram your brain to think the thoughts you want it to think. This doesn’t happen over night, and you need to work at changing the default settings. Once you do this, the negative thought will come in and move out just as quickly. It isn’t about never thinking a negative thought. That is impossible. It is about having the self-awareness so you can think it, question it, and switch it around if you don’t like it.
This is a bit more challenging for the creepy limiting beliefs that you are not aware of, that have been there since childhood. These are a bit deeper in your subconscious mind and trigger you by surprise. My Unleash Your Inner Contagiously Positive Digital Coaching Course tackles these deeply hidden limiting beliefs so they stop taking you by surprise.
I had one come up the other day. I had this limiting belief come out of nowhere that I would be bothering someone if I asked for help and that I needed to handle all my problems alone. When I dug into this, I realized it had been a story that I was telling myself since I was a young girl. Now that I know it is there and what its triggers are, I never have to worry about it taking me to my knees again.
Strengthening your inner world is key to making happiness your permanent default setting. You are going to have bad days, but those bad days don’t have to become a bad life.
UNLEASH helps you create daily rituals for mental, emotional, spiritual and attitudinal strength.
Laurie-ann Sheldrick, The Contagiously Positive Girl