It isn’t easy to go against other people when you are trying to do what is best for you, especially when there are opposing views. Which is why it is so important to strengthen your trust muscles.
This share is about trusting yourself. Trusting your intuition. Trusting your deep knowingness. Trusting that pit in your stomach that tells you exactly what is correct for you. Trusting that no ones knows what is best for YOU more than YOU.
We all have that inside of us. I call her our Inner Guide. Your Inner Guide is your true authentic self.
Imagine that you have this part of you that knows the real truth and everything else is just conditioning, or outside noise. Imagine that this part of you is full of light, love, hope, positivity, peace, joy, trust, optimism, and happiness. It feels gratitude, faith, unity, compassion, acceptance of yourself and others, patience, kindness, and understanding. It is your heart, guiding you to fulfill the dreams, hopes, wishes and desires that you have for your life, and even for others. It seems to just know what is the best and most correct action and decision. It tells you when you should say yes, say no, or when to go right inside of left. You can’t explain it, you just know. Your Inner Guide is your gut feelings, those instincts you have that you feel so deeply, you know exactly what you should do.
You don’t really have to imagine this because all of that is inside of you, including the opposite of that, which in my workshop UNLEASH Your Limiting Beliefs I call your Saboteur. Your Saboteur is the other voice in your head that makes you doubt yourself. “Go against the herd? No way!” Your Saboteur is your limiting beliefs and fears. Your Saboteur is conditioning, you know it isn’t best for you, but it is the way it has always been done. Your Saboteur will try to keep you “safe” telling you to do the safe and easy thing, which isn’t always the right thing.
Both are parts of you, and both deserve equal amounts of love and compassion because they make you, you.
Throughout your life, you have, and will continue to live with both. You can’t know one without the other. So you have to become self aware of which one is more present and which one is making the decisions for you.
Your Inner Guide often gets push down by societal programming, conditioning, limiting beliefs, outside opinions, and of course fear. If things are not feeling right for you, or it feels like something is missing, that is usually a nudge from your Inner Guide. When your stop trusting in it, consistently taking the opposite action of its guidance, it weakens.
But don’t worry, like any muscle, it can be strengthened. It isn’t lost, it has just been temporary forgotten.
When you begin to strengthen these trust muscles, with just the simplest of practices, like making decisions, and taking action based on your Inner Guide’s direction, you begin to unlearn all the things the world is telling you should be, think, do and believe, and you start to follow your own guidance system.
Is this easy? Not always, but it doesn’t have to be so hard, and it is much healthier for your mental and emotional wellbeing.
Because we are normal human beings, with a vast scale of emotions, sometimes it is difficult to know what is right, so we don’t always listen to our Inner Guide, especially when we don’t have a crystal ball telling us that it will all work out exactly as it is meant to.
Since we don’t have this crystal ball, we have made it so difficult to trust because we want to know the ending of how the story turns out, before we even get through the first chapter.
Sometimes we don’t trust in it because it doesn’t seem like the “logical” decision, or we just don’t trust in ourselves because there is so much external noise telling us to do something different. So we do that thing the expert said, even when it doesn’t feel good or work for us, and instead of going back to our Inner Guide’s nudges, and trying it her way, we think we must have done something wrong.
We read book after book, take course after course, anxiously pull tarot cards, scroll Instagram for the answers, joins groups, sign up for a bunch of free stuff making promises to solve our problems and answer our questions. All the while our Inner Guide was showing us the way, but we either missed it, didn’t hear it, or we didn’t like what we heard because even though it is what we need, it may not always be what we want in that moment.
We begin to think we are failing because we don’t understand why what the expert did worked for them, but it isn’t working for us. We begin to think that we must be doing it wrong – that something is wrong with us – that we are not good enough or worthy enough.
None of that is true. It is simply their method, their practice, their process. It is probably an amazing method, but it might not be for you – for your unique personality, body or your lifestyle. Instead of giving up, you can begin to practice saying,“that didn’t work for me, so I’m going to continue to try until I fund something that does.” When you do this, your Inner Guide screams “YAY! She’s listening to me, let’s give her another option that is better suited for her.”
No one knows what you want and need more than you. Listen to people’s advice, look for guidance, work with that coach, read that book, take the workshop, practice the tools, but in the end, trust your Inner Guide. If I tell you to go left, but your Inner Guide is saying go right, GO RIGHT! You are not going to hurt my feelings, and I promise I won’t take insult. It is okay for you to do you.
I’ve been doing this personal development work for 20 years and have read hundreds of beautiful books and worked with amazing coaches and have taken some courses that have shifted my mindset and changed my life. But not everything resonated or worked for me. I practice what does, and I lovingly leave the rest, knowing that just because it doesn’t work for me, doesn’t mean I’m failing, or that they are wrong. It just means it works for someone else and I haven’t found my thing yet, or my teacher, or my practice.
PRACTICE BUILDING UP YOUR TRUST MUSCLES
Let’s begin to make your Inner Guide louder than your Saboteur. The practice is simplistic, which makes it so much more impactful because it isn’t something else to add to your to-do list, it is a way of being. The practice is focused on building up our Inner Guide’s trust muscles.
Learning to trust your Inner Guide takes commitment. You have to listen, and I don’t mean with your ears, I mean with your heart – that deep knowingness within. You may have even already been getting the answers, but like I mentioned above, perhaps you haven’t liked them, so you pushed it aside, or maybe you just haven’t trusted it.
It begins with the actions you take and the decisions you make. The action is the key to strengthening your trust muscles. Think of your physical muscles. We all know that a bicep isn’t going to grow without lifting a weight, consistently. And the same is true for strengthening your trust muscles.
The practice is this: Every time you have to make a decision, check in with yourself. Before taking action, before making a decision, tap into your Inner Guide by asking yourself if the action or decision feels aligned (feels correct) for you in that moment.
Deciding may sound like this: “this is what I’m feeling, it feels like the right move for me, even if it is different, or goes against the grain, or is a road less travelled, this is what I feel right now is the correct decision or action for me.” Or, it could simply be a direct yes, or no.
If it turns out not to be exactly what you expected, that is okay because that is sometimes a part of the process of learning and growing as well. Take the lessons learned and try again – decide again – choose again knowing what you now know.
Let’s take the conversation above to our journals.
What have you been doing, even though it doesn’t feel correct for you, because it is just the way it has always been, or it is what other people have been telling you that you should do?
Now, close your eyes (after reading this), what is your Inner Guide telling you to do? Build those trust muscles and go do it!