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Life Happens For You, Not To You

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Sometimes things happen for you, not to you.

What does the reframe look and feel like if you think, this didn’t happen to me, it happened for me?

I am always being reminded and reminding myself that things often happen for me, not to me. And if I can see the lesson, turn it around and then teach it to others, that is where the gift lies because to my core, my purpose is to teach.

There are things that have happened in my life that in the moment were terrible. Like, how am I ever going to get through this awful! But then, something amazing happens, or I meet someone new because of it, or it opens up a new door that I never even imagine before, or it allows me to grow, change and evolve in ways I never thought possible.

In the moment that it is happening, I’m not thinking, “This is happening for me.” God no! I’m thinking, “Why is this happening to me.” It is after I walk through the challenge and look back that I see it. Which is why I keep this reminder written on a little piece of paper – This Is Happening For Me. I Am Going To Be Okay.

Seeing this helps me to walk through it instead of avoiding it, or taking up permanent residence in it.


Pain is awful, but it is only one part of the contrast. No one goes through life without any painful moments. With pain, we also know complete joy. With suffering, we also know peace. I love the song Believer by Imagine Dragons. The lyrics describing how pain made them a believer are so profound.


Seeing the beauty through the pain.

Pain, you break me down, you build me up.

I know that beauty don’t come without rain.



Let’s see what has happened for you, not to you. Your challenge, if you wish to accept, is to think of one negative thing you are going through. I recommend writing it down. How does it feel on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most painful or uncomfortable?

Now, work towards reframing it.


  • What are the lessons that you might have been missing? Really think about it. Marianne Williamson says there are also spiritual opportunities to learn, even in our most painful experiences.

  • What is it teaching you?

  • What doors might possibly open up for you now?


As you work towards reframing it, go back to the scale. How does it now feel on a scale of 1-10?


Lessons gained from experiencing discomfort can be fruitful. It is in these lessons that we UNLEASH.

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© 2014 Contagiously Positive
All rights reserved
Website by Monolith Digital