One of the obstacles that prevent us from being happy is holding on to things that no longer serve us. Is there anything in your life that you need to let go of that is no longer serving you? Is there anything that is making you feel stuck and powerless? If yes, it might be time to let go.
Letting go can mean so many things to so many people. It can be letting go of:
Past pains caused by people we loved
Pain or mistakes we caused
Control of doing things “My Way, or the highway”
Things that no longer serve you
People that no longer serve you
Goals that no longer light up your soul
Toxic thoughts that make you feel stuck
Limiting beliefs that make you feel powerless
Worry about things that you can’t control
Material things that you no longer need
I remember the days when I tried to control everything. I tried controlling events happening around me, people’s reactions, getting the job I wanted, what people thought of me, having the perfect relationship, even trying to control things as simple as the traffic for my drive into work. I wish I had that much power!
What I learned is that we have control over two things: Our interpretations (what we make things mean) and our responses (how we react to life’s events). For everything else, there are too many variables that we just can’t control.
You don’t have control over external circumstances, but you do have control over your inner responses.
Letting go of the belief that I had control over anything but my reaction and interpretations was my biggest hurdle and greatest lesson. I loved thinking that I had control. Let go? Are you serious? How will I get what I want if I let go? The choice was mine. When I finally embraced the concept of letting go and letting the universe do her thing, positive things started happening for me. The universe had a much better plan for me than what I had for myself. I love the saying, “let God do your dreaming for you.” I keep this close to my heart at all times so I can remember to let go when I am trying to control the uncontrollable. When I finally understood that I can’t control what happens around me, but I can control my reaction and my attitude to those external circumstances, I became happier, more relaxed and realized I actually was powerful. The power was inside of me. By focusing on controlling my own inner reactions and attitudes, it had a major affect on those around me as well.
Positivity is just as contagious as negativity!
What are you controlling that you need to let go of?
A Story On Letting Go & Forgiveness
One of the most difficult things to let go of are past pains and people who have hurt us. My client has given me permission to share her story for this blog, which I am so grateful for. She wanted to share her story so that you know it is possible to take your power back and release the shackles that holding on can create.
A true contagiously positive act is sharing what you learn.
Here is how our one-hour session went. Her partner had done something that caused her pain. She said to me that she had forgiven her partner for something he had done, but didn’t understand why she was still so angry and hurt. She made the decision to forgive him, but every time they had an argument, she would use what he had done against him to win the fight. Instead of solving the current issue they were arguing about, they were right back to two years ago, arguing about the hurt he caused her in the past. Two years ago, she said, “I forgive you” but has been reliving the hurt and pain in every argument they have had since. I asked her, “Did you mean the words? Have you actually forgiven him? Have you let go?” I could see the shift happening right in front of my eyes. She realized how much she was holding on to the hurt and had never truly let go. She said she had forgiven him, but never dealt with the pain so she could in fact move on and let go.
Forgiveness is for them, letting go is for you.
She also said that without realizing it, she wanted him to feel the hurt she had felt. It had become a negative cycle, always ending right back in the same place. Always making her feel powerless.
There is a big difference between forgiveness and letting go. Forgiveness is for the other person, letting go is for you. In order to move forward, letting go needs to be your focus, not forgiveness. Letting go means releasing the power that it has over you, releasing the hurt, the anger, the disappointment, the guilt, the pain, whatever it might be.
If you can’t forgive, but you want to take your power back, repeat this affirmation, “I don’t forgive you for what you did, but I let go of its hold on me.”
You know that you have let go once you believe that nothing and no one has any power over you, unless you let it or them.
I gave her an exercise to do with her partner, on letting go, and when we had our follow up session, she said that it is still a work in progress, but they are finally at a place where they are working together to heal and move forward in a positive away. That is one of the most important steps to letting go of anything that is keeping you stuck – WILLINGNESS. Without the willingness to release it, you will remain stuck.
My Questions For You
Is there anything you are holding onto that is making you feel stuck and powerless?
What will it take to help you move forward?
What do you need to do to take your power back?
The control is in your hands, in your heart and in your soul. Are you ready to take your power back?
Laurie-ann Sheldrick, The Contagiously Positive Girl