Do you find yourself saying feeling this way?
“I’m always giving, but never receiving. What gives?”
“I do everything and get nothing back.”
“I am always the giver, but never the receiver.”
“Why do I even bother if I never get thanked or he/she doesn’t give in return?”
“I buy gifts for him/her, but he/she never buys them for me.”
“I do his/her laundry and he/she never does mine.”
Here’s the deal. There is a major difference in energy in giving from a place of not wanting anything in return where you just naturally want to do/say something nice vs. giving because you want something in return.
“If I do this, maybe they will get the hint and do it for me.”
Relationships just don’t work that way. People don’t respond that way. And, if we think that it should always be 50/50 or tick for tack, we are going to be sadly disappointed.
There are things my husband does for me, like check the oil in my car, or fill up my windshield fluid that I am so incredibly grateful for. He does it just to do it, expecting nothing in return. He would be greatly let down if he expected me to wake up one day and say, “you know what, I’m going to check the oil in my car and fill up the fluids.” That is never going to happen! But, that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate what he does for me. I absolutely do, but I’m not going to run out in that moment and try to “repay” him. I expressed my sincerest of thanks, because I am thankful for it. He accepts and doesn’t want anything in return. That is not how kind gestures work. You do them because it feels good for you. It feels good knowing that you have made someone else happy and when the deed is done and the thanks are expressed, you move on. You don’t just sit there impatiently waiting for the gesture to be return. Again, this is not the path towards happiness. The light isn’t found at the end of the repay-all-my-kindness tunnel.
Kindness is contagious.
When you do something, with zero agenda attached, it will come back to you. I promise. It will come back, because it is the natural law of the universe. What you put out, you will get back and you can’t fake out the universe because the universe can sense your energy. Meaning, it isn’t what you do or say that matters, it is how you feel when you do or say it.
So the next time you are about to do something, check the energy behind what you are doing. If it is because you want something back in return and will be really pissed off if you don’t get it, that is not going to enhance your happiness. It will feel crushing. It will probably make you really angry. If it because you just want to make someone else feel good, and really want nothing in return but them to feel good, now that is energy that will enhance your happiness. That is energy that the universe and those around you will respond to in a positive way.
Unleash your inner contagiously positive by giving with no strings attached.
Be happy. Be healthy. Be contagiously positive.
Laurie-ann Sheldrick, The Contagiously Positive Girl