So much of our frustration comes from attachment to an outcome, and expectation, an object, an idea or a belief that is not coming the way we expected. Once you release the attachment, you also release the frustration.
Expectation hangover is the real deal. In fact, when we expect everyone and everything to work out exactly as we forcefully plan, pray, wish and hope for, and it doesn’t happen just like we planned, prayed, hoped and wished for, we begin to feel spiritually fatigued.
I have found myself saying these things, feeling frustrated by my expectations, and maybe some of these resonate with you as well:
I’m so disappointed you didn’t say this in the way I wanted.
I’m so disappointed you didn’t do this exactly as I wanted.
I’m so disappointed I didn’t get this exact thing.
I’m so disappointed that it isn’t here yet.
I’m so disappointed that I never get what I ask for, pray for, wish for.
I’m so disappointed that he/she didn’t load the dishwasher the way I do, or be able to read my mind and just do what I want without asking.
I’m so disappointed…
We are only human, so these are normal feelings and reactions. The work we do is practicing pivoting our thoughts so we feel good; the work is not being perfect in every moment. In fact, it isn’t about being perfect at all because we are ALL perfectly imperfect.
The expectation hangover makes us feel like the universe doesn’t have our back and that we never get what we want. I can tell you from experience, this does not feel good to my soul. True faith is believing it without it coming in the exact package that we ordered it in. It is also allowing other people to show up as they are, not as we expect them to, while also having the courage to express how you feel to people who are not showing up the way you expected them to. People don’t know what they don’t know. We can avoid so much frustration by having positive communication with each other.
Recovering From Expectation Hangovers
Who would you be if you let go of all the expectations you have for yourself and for others?
How would that make you feel?
How can you take aligned action from this new place of wanting to feel good and not hung-over?
The practice is doing things that make us feel good. Nowhere in the practice do we expect ourselves, or others to be perfect. Instead, like Brene Brown says, we find the gifts in our imperfections.
Laurie-ann Sheldrick, The Contagiously Positive Girl