Change is inevitable. We can fight against it. We can resist it. We can ignore it. But it’s still there and it’s still going to happen. Resist it, and constantly fight against the current, or we can embrace it knowing that it’s the most natural thing that happens as we age, grow, learn and evolve, as the seasons of our lives change, and as our wants, desires and needs change. Sometimes, we keep ignoring it so much that the universe offers us up a not so subtle wake-up call.
Since early March, we were all given a massive wake-up call. Whether we expected it, were ready for it, liked it, or not, it was forced upon us. For many of us, this forced wake-up call has made us look at many parts of our lives and examine what needs to be changed. One question I have been asking myself lately is, “do I really want every area of my life to go back to “normal” after this is over?”
So here we all are, experiencing so many collective wake-up calls. It feels like things are being brought to the surface so fast that it is hard to even keep up. And I know that it might feel overwhelming, but it is important that we not only lean into that feeling, but also move forward with it. Sometimes, especially during a crisis, we either don’t recognize the wake-up call, or we just are not sure what it means. So today I want to explore that a little.
First of all, change is HARD AF! I often get asked, “Why is it so difficult to change? I know I need to make changes, but it feels like an impossible task.” It is difficult to change because even though we know a particular part of our lives needs to change, or we need to change, the fear of change, the fear of the unknown, the fear of the unfamiliar, and the fear of living a different reality, prevents us from doing the things that we want to do, or what we need to do.
If you have been experiencing this feeling lately, and you want to make changes in your life, don’t choose the easy-quick-fix-let’s-get-this-done way, choose the forever way. Challenge the status quo – is it currently serving you? If yes, great! If not, what needs to change? Challenge your beliefs – are they holding you back or are they propelling you forward?
This particular wake-up call has been uncomfortable because we have had to accept that we don’t have all the answers, we have had to release our control tendencies, and many of you have needed to reach out for help, which might have felt really hard to do.
So here you are. As you sit there, reading this, your life might be on the edge of a precipice. You may be in need of a change, and quite possibly, your life needs a shake up. Don’t worry, that is your wake-up call. It might feel scary, but I promise you, it gets so much better. But it only gets better if you wade through the emotional discomfort.
First things first, this is the most important question, are you getting whisperings that it is time to give your life a shake up?
If you are not sure, let’s go a little deeper to find out what’s next for you. Change is difficult for many of us. As I mentioned above, the new and unknown can bring up lots of discomfort. You might not be ready to fully embrace the changes you know you need to make, or want to make, and that is okay. Wherever you are right now on the readiness scale, you are exactly where you are meant to me. Sometimes the first step is getting yourself ready to be ready.
I get asked often, “How do I know when I am ready?” It is different for all of us, but there are always signs. Your mind, body, heart and soul have been whispering them to you, or maybe even screaming at you. Each of us has an inner guide, an inner authority, a gut instinct, a nudge, whatever you want to call it that gives us signs. To help you connect with this inner knowingness, let me take you through some whisperings you may have been hearing.
You might be getting signs that it is time for a something new if things seem to be imploding in all areas of your life. Your career, relationships, sex life, personal and professional life, your health, your finances – if all of these seem to be taking a really bumpy ride, it might be time for a shake up.
You might be getting signs that it is time for something new when you start to feel like things are never going to get better. This is a limiting belief that comes about when we just can’t (and don’t want to) accept the way things are anymore. I promise you, things can and will get better when you embrace change. You can live a happy, healthy, fulfilling, joyful life, even during (especially during) hard times.
You are most definitely getting signs that it is time to change if you feel a strong pull leading you, tugging you, pushing you, and pulling you in a totally different direction than where you are right now. This is your wake up call moment. Feeling pulled into taking a different road than you are currently on, maybe a road less travelled, or a road you have never been on before, but you have a desire, a need and curiosity to see where it leads. It feels really scary, but also really exciting.
These whispers are your mind, body, heart and soul are screaming, “Enough is enough, I want a better life. I want to be better, do better, have better. I want joy. I want health. I want happiness. I want love. I want peace and ease. I want to be, do and have all that I desire.”
Whether you are at the ready point or not, I want you to know that change doesn’t have to be feared, avoided or even be confusing. A shake up, a different perspective, a change, or a new road is a good thing. If it doesn’t work out the way you expect, you choose again. You have to be willing to change and change and change and change again – many times throughout the seasons of your life, not just during a crisis like the one we are globally in now. You keep making shifts and changing until it feels right, until you feel that this is the life you want. And sometimes what worked yesterday may not work today so you gotta shake it up all over again.
It begins internally. We can’t ask for change from others without shifting ourselves. Before changing something in the outer world, is there anything that you need/want to change in your inner world?
This is always where I begin before I take on a big change. If I have a health goal, I need to believe in myself and act like a healthy person would act. If I have a money goal, I need to have faith in working the work and act like a person with financial abundance would act. If I want to enhance my relationships, I need to be loving, kind, compassionate, and non-judgemental. If I want the external world to change, am I willing to change?
What changes do you want to make in your life and who do you need to become internally to fully embrace them and stay inspired/motivated to work the work of making it happen?
Change begins from within: Our attitude, beliefs, thoughts and feelings. Work your way from in to out and I promise things will begin to fall into place.
Another way to embrace change is to understand that what worked yesterday may not work today or tomorrow and that is okay. In fact, that is life. We, and this includes me because I’m on this path with you, hold so tightly to the way things were and are because we want so badly for things to be comfortable. But changing the way we do things when it isn’t working doesn’t have to be uncomfortable when we understand that life is constantly changing around us and in us.
Last year I fought hard to keep things as they were and resisted change. It wasn’t until my coach helped me see that my current actions, beliefs and mindset weren’t working and I needed to shake things up to get unstuck.
Start by being open to the possibility of doing things differently and also being different. Be open to fully stepping into the person your soul truly wants to evolve to. Be open to new beliefs, new ways of doing things, new ways of being, even new ways of reacting to your coworkers who drive you nuts, a new relationship, etc. Just be open.
Once you know what you want to change, baby step it. What is one area of your life where you feel you really want to make changes? Is it your career, health, relationships, finances, beliefs? Start to focus your energy on that one thing. To prevent overwhelm, make one simple change at a time. If it’s your health, put all your focus into getting healthy. If it’s your mental and emotional wellbeing, put all your focus into healing. If it is your finances, put all your focus into upping your money game.
What often happens is that we try to focus on everything all at once and become so overwhelmed that we give up. When I work with clients, I work on one problem, one belief, one obstacle or change at a time – focusing on the area that is the absolute most important to them in that moment. What tends to happen when things start to improve in one life area is it automatically improves other areas as well. It has a domino affect and you become more confident.
Let’s take the conversation above to our journals.
What are the whispers you have felt that is time for a shake-up?
What has been coming up for you when you think about making a change? Is it fear, excitement, uncertainty?
What has been the obstacle preventing you from taking that first step?
What support do you need to help you fully embrace and take action towards making the changes you want and need to make?
Change is as natural as gravity so we can resist it and fight vehemently to stay where we are, to keep things just as they are, slowly driving ourselves mad hatter mad, or we can embrace it fully, even with the temporary discomfort, and let it expand our lives. The choice is individually ours.