Are you giving too much to everyone around you, and not enough to yourself?
This has been a common theme coming up; not just in my own life, but also in conversations I have been having with other women.
If you are feeling tired because you have been taking care of everyone else in your life, leaving no time for yourself, your fatigue is most likely turning into frustration. You may be feeling trapped by having no freedom, annoyed by every ask, and perhaps you just want to be able to have days where you can do what you want, when you want.
Here is what I wrote the other day in my journal: “I’m feeling like lately I’m giving way too much and leaving little to no space for receiving, which is causing me to be annoyed, short-tempered and frustrated. I would like to see this from a different perspective, without resentment, and without frustration. What should I do? Who do I need to be? What needs to change? What energy do I need to embrace to experience and see this differently?”
When I free-write, without filtering or questioning what I’m writing, the best advice is able to come through. So if this is how you have been feeling lately, or you want to ensure you don’t feel this way, here is my sage advice.
1. Open your heart and be open to your own experiences. It is okay if you are not always available (at everyone’s beck and call) every single moment of every single day.
It is a selfless act to take time for yourself because you show up as your best self after, which is how other people become their best selves. When everyone has the space to be, do and have what they desire, it creates balance and synergy.
Say yes when you want to say yes, and have the courage to say no when you want to say no. This isn’t selfish, it is creating healthy boundaries so that everyone in your life gets to experience joy and pleasure, including you.
Ask yourself: why are they more deserving than me?
2. Have the courage to change what needs to be changed. You probably already know what needs to shift. I know I did. I just didn’t want to have the uncomfortable conversation when I wanted to do something else, or wanted to say no to the ask.
When you do this, you will experience some emotions. You may feel fear of being judged, disliked or even rejected. You might experience sadness if the other person doesn’t like your boundary. Please know that this emotional discomfort is temporary, normal, and doesn’t mean that you should go against what you desire. It gets easier, I promise.
3. Not last, but the last one I’ll share today is begin the practice of focusing on experiences that nourish you. The more you do this, the less frustrated you will be by the demands, asks, or expectations of others. Something I’ve realized is that by making me a priority, and not being available for every little thing, they end up figuring it out and doing it themselves.
I don’t believe that our loved ones mean to take advantage of us givers. If we keep saying yes, why wouldn’t they keep asking and expecting? You have to be who you want to be to have what you desire. If you are waiting for everyone around you to change first, it won’t happen until you change. In UNLEASH Your Limiting Beliefs I share a beautiful formula I learned from author Neale Donald Walsch. Be your best, authentic self, and you will be able to do the things you want to do, and have the things you want to have. BE – DO – HAVE. Not have, do and finally you can be. Our current programmed formula doesn’t work because we are constantly stuck in the “I’ll only be happy when I have” cycle.
If you want to have freedom in your life, you have to make space for it. And the only way to do that is to stop doing everything for everyone, and stop saying yes to everything, feeling resentful because you wanted to say no, which leaves no space in your life for you to be, do and have what you desire.
There is so much wisdom inside of you. So I thought why not take the questions that I asked in my journal and use them for this weeks journal prompts.
I’m feeling like lately I’m giving way too much and leaving little to no space for receiving, which is causing me to be annoyed, short-tempered and frustrated. I would like to see this from a different perspective, without resentment, and without frustration. What should I do? Who do I need to be? What needs to change? What energy do I need to embrace to experience and see this differently?
You can replace this with anything you are feeling. I’m feeling really [enter emotion] about [enter the situation], what should I do? Who do I need be? What needs to change? How can I see this from a different perspective?
The only thing you have to do is ask the question and free-write. If it doesn’t come right away, simply wait, going about your day with the question in your mind, and come back to your journal later, or the next day. I promise it will eventually come, or your will read, or see, or listen to something, or meet someone that gives you the answer.