There have been so many things that I have done in my life that I did because it was what the herd was doing, or saying I should do. I worked in construction for 10 years, being a part of the rat race, racing to achieve, god only knows what, only to realize that I was in a race I didn’t even want to be in.
I remember being told growing up, especially in high school, that it was more important to get a job or career that offered security instead of following my passions. So I chose to get a business degree and entered that race, trying to feel that security everyone was talking about, but feeling emotionally, mentally and spiritually fatigued instead. I had joined a race I knew I didn’t even want to be in, suffering, because I followed the herd instead of my heart – my inner guide. She knew. I just ignored her. How often do we, do you do that?
When I started my coaching practice, finally following my actual passion, my hearts desire, my inner guidance, I began to notice how much I didn’t want to follow the herd. I wanted to walk my own path, do things differently, even when they were new and unusual, listen to my inner guide when she didn’t want to do what the expert was saying I should do, and most importantly, STOP RACING.
Here’s the thing, you are going to be told to follow the herd because it is safer, but is it really safer to leave yourself behind to race in a race you don’t even want to be in? Eventually your soul is going to cry out to you, like it did for me, “stop the race, I want to travel a different path, I want to walk and not run, I want to take time for joy, I want to stop rushing, pushing, forcing and manipulating myself to fit into all these tight boxes that I just don’t fit in.”
I believe that one of the good things that has come out of this incredibly scary and turbulent 5 months is that a lot of us are realizing we were in races we didn’t want to be in. Races to be perfect. Races to climb a ladder we had no interest in even climbing. Races to be and do everything for everyone else, leaving little to no time for ourselves. Races to look like, sound like, be like, do like, and have what everyone else has because god for bid we are different.
Now, more than ever, is a time to explore where you are and whether or not you like where you are. We are being forced to accept and acknowledge that change is inevitable and will happen whether we like it or not. So I encourage you to look at your life, without judgement, only love, and ask yourself some important questions.
Am I in a race I even want to be in?
Do I like where I am in my career, relationships, and financial state?
Do I feel good about my physical, mental, attutudinal and emotional wellbeing?
Am I forcing myself to fit into perfectly boxes that I know I just don’t fit in, or want to be in?
Do I like where I’m currently going if I continue on this path?
These questions show you what you don’t want and that helps you gain clarity on what it is that you do want. I know that these feel like really difficult questions because they can open up a big can of worms called CHANGE. It can also feel scary because it opens up a door to the UNKNOWN. The unknown and change is scary because it means we have to behave, think, act, react, and believe differently. It means we have to leave the race and quite possibly, leave the herd.
When you are about to make a major change or shift in your life, fear can prevent you from making the change. What you are afraid of is not the change, you are afraid of the emotional discomfort that the change will bring you if it ends up not being what you wanted it to be.
But don’t worry, once you truly come home to who you are, and what you desire, you will fully embrace all the changes and realize you haven’t actually changed, you just remembered who you are, what you desire and what your true path is.