How do you want to feel? When you know how you want to feel every day, it is much easier to make healthier choices that help you strengthen your emotional, physical, mental, spiritual and attitudinal muscles.
Have you ever been asked how you want to feel? When my coach first asked me this questioned, over 10+ years ago, it took me so long to answer. My default answer was, “I want to feel happy.” We all want to be happy. But I felt like it was a deeper question. Today, many years after first being asked that question, I have seen so many of my favourite teachers and authors ask this question. Danielle Laporte has created an entire empire around it. The deeper answer is that I want to feel it all. I want to feel joy. I want to feel free. I want to feel healthy. I want to feel vibrant and energized. I want to feel sexy. I want all the goody, magical, sprinkle me with pixie dust feelings.
That is the most important thing we should know about ourselves, and even though we get asked it often, or at least I do, are we asking that of ourselves?
My husband asked me once, “isn’t it difficult to make healthy food choices all the time?” The answer is yes and no. Yes because sometimes I just want to eat all the “bad” stuff. And I do treat myself. But mainly no because I know how I want to feel. When I made the choice to take care of my health and started paying attention to my dietary choices, I did it because I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I wanted to feel healthy and energized. In order to feel healthy and energized, I need to eat the foods that make me feel that way. I practice paying attention to how my body feels. My body knows best and will always be honest with me. I have learned how to trust that. It is no longer about what is healthy and not healthy. It is about how it makes me feeling and do I want to feel that way.
The same goes for feeling happy. When I wake up, I think about all the things that I can do to not only make myself happy, but stay that way throughout the day. It truly is my choice on what attitude I choose, so I have to make that conscious choice every single day. If I get cut off on my commute, if I get irritated by someone, if someone is incredibly rude to me, the attitude I choose in those moments is what will bring me to or away from an unhappy or happy state of mind.
I don’t have control over negative things that happen around me or to me, but I do have control over how I let it affect my inner being – my mind, body and soul.
This doesn’t mean acting happy when you suffer from a loss or something painful happens in your life. You still want to feel those feelings, but you will know what to do when you are ready to move forward again and get back to living a life based on your core desired feelings. The point of this isn’t to rid yourself of, or avoid all negative feelings. It is to make sure that if something negative, or painful does happen, you don’t have to set up permanent residence in that pain and negative state. Simply put, you are not letting it take control of your life. It is all about taking control of your own life and to do that a big step is really asking yourself and getting clear about how you want to feel. Sometimes day by day, sometimes moment by moment, depending on where you are right now on the emotional scale.
When something happens, good or bad, remember that we all have the ability to choose how we will react to any event.
Grab a pen and paper and answer these two questions.
- How do you want to feel?
- What steps can you take, and will you to take, to feel that way?
Laurie-ann Sheldrick, The Contagiously Positive Girl