“I know what I need to do, why is it so hard to do it?”
The applying is really where the challenge lies. We know we need to work out. We know that we should be eating healthy. We understand that we need to take time to fill our own cup. So why is it so difficult to take consistent action and truly commit? This is something I’ve been hearing a lot as I’ve been working with the women who are taking UNLEASH. We talk a lot about fear and making new choices and that is really where it all begins; it starts with the choice and claiming what you want, while not letting fear be our decision maker.
I choose ease over fear.
I choose fun over fear.
I choose clarity over fear.
I choose love over fear.
I choose trust over fear.
I choose calm over frenzy.
I choose balance over imbalance.
I choose allowance over resistance.
I choose financial freedom over the bondage of debt and scarcity.
I choose happiness over sadness.
I choose healthy over unhealthy.
What does fear have to do with commitment?
Think of all the things you are not doing that you know you really want to and need to do. Is there fear there?
Afraid you won’t have time.
Afraid you will fail.
Afraid you will feel this way forever.
Afraid you will never find the answer.
Afraid you will make the wrong choice.
Afraid you won’t be able to commit.
Afraid you will actually succeed and your life will change.
Afraid your life will never change.
Fear and I go way back and I decided that instead of never feeling fear, I would let it tag along, but not allow it to be my decision maker. Sometimes when I’m feeling like something is missing in my life, I finish this sentence: If I weren’t afraid, I would…
Fear is usually my blocker. I get comfortable, and I don’t want to mess with the blissful comfort by being temporary uncomfortable by the fear of failing, or being judged. But I promise that it is completely temporary. Once you do that thing you want to do, the fear goes away. And honestly, when we work towards anything that we want, a little bit of failure just comes with the territory. It doesn’t feel good, but we can always learn from it.
It’s not always easy to choose even though we know we want it. Why? Because the fears, and anxiety and resistance gain so much momentum that we can’t seem to catch our breath long enough to pivot and take action. We get stuck in being, and feeling, Contagiously Negative. That is why we need to do something every day to fill our cup and train our brain to be Contagiously Positive. Some will resist this because they want instant gratification. I understand this. I feel this way too. Yes it seems like certain things take too long, but we are talking about a lifetime, a long game, and that takes time and commitment. But we, YOU, are so worthy of it. Every day gives you a little more space to breathe, to feel and to remember who you truly are and why you are doing what you are doing.
I said to my husband one night, “I’m so happy right now and love my life, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to achieve this massive goal I set in my business. But I also trust in where I’m at, and know I have everything I need. So I’m going to keep doing the work.”
I share this with you because I want you to know that you can feel fear and happiness at the same time. But not when we allow fear to make our decisions for us. We have to practice allowing happiness (our joy) to guide us, not our fears. And trust me, it’s a daily practice! It is a daily choice. I struggle hard sometimes as an entrepreneur, as a woman, just as a human being trying to figure it all out – just like you. But I just keep choosing. I continue to believe in myself, in the universe, and in the work that I’m doing. I feel all the fear and I take action towards my commitment anyway. It is a perfectly imperfect process.
Commitment to even the smallest action will help you gain so much positive momentum. That’s way more powerful then waiting for willpower. The willpower may not come, especially at first. So you have to push through and do it anyway, even with the fear, even when you are tired, even when you think you can’t do it.
Think of your most negative feeling right now, the one causing you the most anxiety. What would you choose to feel instead? Use the list I wrote above if you are feeling stuck.
Now, what is one thing you can do every single day to form a habit and inspire yourself to take another step and another and another?
What are you truly committed to changing, doing, or stop doing to be, do and have all that you desire?
When I decided that I wanted to be happy and healthy, I baby stepped it. I kept (and keep) choosing things that I can do (and not do) to work the work of feeling the way I want to feel. Most of the things I do are inner work because I believe it is the most impactful.
Not sure what steps you want to take? Here is a little exercise for you.
On a piece of paper, make two categories.
On one side of the paper, write down all the things you can do to fill up your own cup this week.
On the other side, put a date and time beside them and do one thing every single day for the entire week.
If working out is on your list, put a date beside it, add it to your to-do list, and put it in your calendar. Don’t talk yourself out of it, just do it even if you don’t want to. Commit.
If spending time with someone you love is on your list, or having a phone date with them, add it to your list, schedule it, put it in your calendar, and don’t talk yourself out of it or reschedule. Commit.
If you are learning something new, just for you and for fun, but you haven’t been taking the time for it, set a time, put it in your calendar and don’t talk yourself out of it. Commit.
Commit to doing something just for you because it will make you feel so good. What this will do is strengthen your commitment muscles; creating habitual commitments that you can’t ignore because your brain tells you what you need without you needing to even think about it.
The spiritual journey of going within has a domino effect on your health, relationships, career and overall well-being because everything you need is already inside of you. But we are so used to searching for fulfillment from the outer world and wanting other people to meet our needs, that we tend to forget that we already have everything we need.
“You may not have everything you want (yet) but you have everything that you need.”
It’s inside of you and you just need to be reminded and remember who you truly are and how worthy you are. This isn’t always what we want to hear when we are struggling, but it’s the truth. And as you heal, grow, change, connect, and up the commitment game, you will remember this. If you can strengthen your mental, emotional and spiritual muscles, there is nothing you cannot be, do and have. And I believe you can take that straight to the bank!
Laurie-ann, The Contagiously Positive Girl