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Recognizing When You Are Caught In “I’ll Be Happy When…”

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Are you enjoying the journey of life, or waiting to be happy when you reach a certain destination?


How can you enjoy the destination if you are not enjoying the journey?

I wanted to be happy so badly, but I got caught up in the trap of “I’ll be happy when I have…”


I’ll be happy when I get that job promotion.

I’ll be happy when I get married.

I’ll be happy when I am shown respect in my industry.

I’ll be happy when I am making a certain amount of money.

I’ll be happy when I live in this house.

I’ll be happy when I travel to these places.

I’ll be happy when I retire.


When I became aware that I was stuck in the trap of I’ll only be happy when I have or experience something, I realized that I could still have wants, needs, desires and goals, that haven’t yet been achieved, and still be happy. I can be happy by creating beautiful happy moments and be grateful for what I have today. I can be happy and grateful today because tomorrow is not guaranteed. I can be happy by putting an end to the stress of future-tripping and live life instead of waiting for life.


Waiting for a guarantee in life is not living life.

When we get stuck in the trap of, “I will only or finally be happy when I have this,” it creates a major blocker to unleashing our inner contagiously positive – to actually being happy and living a joyful life.


Happiness isn’t about getting that one thing, or experiencing that one experience. Happiness is not created with one event or one memory, and it is definitely not created by being stuck in a mentality of, “I will only be happy when I have this.” Happiness is a creation of stringing together events, experiences, and memories that are tied and intertwined together on your journey of life. You are the creator of your life. Which means, you have to create, and live these events, experiences and memories that you can string together to live a joyful life.


We embrace life, in the moment, without having everything on your must-have list (yet). The more you feel it, the more you be it, the more you will attract it. Don’t wait for something to happen to be happy, create it. Be so happy that when you get more of the things you want, you can truly be filled with absolute gratitude that you received them.


I practice not waiting until I have that thing that I want to be happy. To attract more happiness, I must BE happy without having everything that I want in this moment. Otherwise, life is going to happen without me.


I’ll only or finally be happy when I have…

This is one of those mindsets/beliefs that keeps us away from really enjoying our lives right now, and from achieving our goals and desires. It also keeps us from truly relishing in the things that we have already because we are so focused on what we don’t have.


What is your when I have?


I’ll be happy when I have this amount of money.

I’ll be happy when I have that job title.

I’ll be happy when I have those material items.

I’ll be happy when my relationships reach this level.

I’ll be happy when my body looks like this.

I’ll be happy when I have this house.


What I’ve learned, and practice daily, because I still fall into the when I have trap, is to be happy with where I am today, I have faith that I will get everything that I want because right now, today, I have everything that I need. Appreciation turns feelings of lack into feelings of abundance. I’ve learned, and teach, that happiness is an inside job. I can be going through things that I don’t like, while not letting it steal all of my joy. Not having everything I want does not mean that I don’t have everything that I need. I can still have wants and desires and be happy with everything that I have today.


Waiting for a when I have moment is futile because if I don’t live and love what I have today, eventually I will run out of tomorrows, next weeks, next months and next years to be happy. So I choose to be happy today. I choose to be happy today because life is what happens without me when I get stuck in a mentality of I will only be happy when I have this. And when I get off track, because I will, I’m only human. I choose again and again and again.


I choose to be happy without a specific job title. Those are just words on a business card.

I choose to be happy without having a specific outcome, instead trusting that the universes plan is so much better than mine.

I choose to be happy without a specific house. I prefer a HOME filled with happy memories.


I still work hard in my business, I have personal and professional desires, and goals that I will continue to work for. And if I am happy now, once I achieve those things, or something better, I will have full 100% gratitude for them – being open to receiving them fully and completely with love, joy and appreciation.


Life doesn’t stop and wait for us. If we wake up today and decide that we are only going to be happy if everything goes as we have planned for it, life is going to still carry on with or without this plan. This is how we miss so many beautiful moments. We decide that happiness has to look and be a certain way. When you clear those blocks to loves presence, darkness turns into the most radiant light and you are finally able to see what has been right in front of you all along. “I may not have everything that I want (yet), but I have everything that I need.” 


If you are feeling trapped in the when I have’s, take some time each day to begin turning it around. Start with an inner inquiry with some journaling questions:


What are your when I have’s?

How are they holding you back from being happy today?

What can you do today to let go of one when I have block and choose happiness and gratitude for what you have now?

Are you ready to choose to be happy today, trusting that you have everything you need and everything else is on the way?


All love,

Laurie-ann Sheldrick, The Contagiously Positive Girl

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© 2014 Contagiously Positive | All rights reserved | Website by Monolith Digital
© 2014 Contagiously Positive
All rights reserved
Website by Monolith Digital